Today is celebrated in Colombia the Psychologist’s Daythat’s why at Vibra we told a psychologist to tell us the most absurd questions he’s been asked.
André Didyme-Dome, a psychologist at the Javeriana University, told us some questions that, unfortunately, are asked over and over againboth their patients in consultation and friends, family and even university students.
1. Can you learn about past lives in regression therapy?
Psychologists are health professionals, scientists, there is no room in our discipline for reincarnation. That is, psychologists do not believe in past lives. Regression for psychologists is an exploration of the patient’s first memories, of his childhood, of his past. It is not an examination to find out if the patient was Joan of Arc or the Queen of Sheba before.
2. What happens to people who split?
«They shed their body and leave it empty for serial killer spirits to take over and come back to life.» Now, seriously speaking, the phenomenon of «doubling» corresponds to a sleep disorder in which the person feels that he is leaving his body. It is the product of suggestion, there is no «detachment» of the spirit from the body, so some say.
3. Are you analyzing me?
This is the obligatory question that psychologists are asked at cocktail parties, parties and meetings. However, it is as absurd a question as asking a gynecologist if he is practicing his profession at all times. Psychologists analyze people in offices and in professional environments that demand it. At cocktail parties we drink cocktails, at parties we celebrate, at meetings we meet and at the office we analyze.
4. Why is he crying or in a bad temper? Is it that you are not a psychologist?
Yes sir. But we are also human beings. Psychologists are emotional people too and we have every right to cry and get angry. Perhaps this is a product of confusion: the people who never express an emotion are not psychologists but psychiatric psychopaths, like Hannibal Lecter.
5. What drug do you prescribe me for anxiety, doctor?
None. Clinical psychologists are prevented from prescribing any type of drug. We believe that many emotional problems can be solved through dialogue without resorting to chemistry. To prescribe drugs there are shamans and psychiatrists, doctors specialized in mental disorders, like Hannibal Lecter.
6. Doctor, I think my daughter is a lesbian, could it be that you can cure her?
Homosexuality has not been considered a disorder for more than 50 years. Homosexuality is sexual orientation towards people of the same sex. If it sounds terrible to you, that’s your problem. Homosexuality is not a disease and does not require any type of therapy. Being homophobic maybe yes.
7. Is it true that dreaming of my teeth falling out is a sign of imminent death?
Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, considered dreams as a window into the world of the unconscious. Dreams are metaphors that tell us about conflicts, repressed desires, fears and feelings of guilt. Every dream must be interpreted in the light of the dreamer’s life. Generalizing the meanings of dreams is not psychology. That’s the land of bland, unscientific booklets that come free with the purchase of crackers.
8. Could it be that I am bipolar?
In recent years there has been a marked tendency to self-diagnose in an irresponsible and «cheerful» way. Feeling sadness and happiness at the same time is not something unusual: in degrees and in marriages these conflicting feelings coexist and that does not make it bipolar. Teenagers are emotionally unstable due to their hormonal explosion as a result of puberty and they are not bipolar for that. Bipolarity is also not a scapegoat to justify infidelity or a lack of desire to go to work. Bipolarity is a disorder that is diagnosed seriously and by specialists.
9. My son is doing poorly at school. Could it be that he has attention deficit disorder?
And we continue with the “joyful” diagnoses. It is very strange that the child in question does not copy homework, falls asleep in class, is distracted by his classmates in the classroom, but is able to keep his full attention in a marathon of Naruto and can play more than 4 hours continuously Grand Theft Auto. Attention deficit is a generalized disorder and does not differentiate between the academic and the playful. And many times it is confused with lack of motivation.
10. Could it be that I am addicted to sex?
Am I human? It should be the correct question.
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If you have ever asked these types of questions to a psychologist, share this note!